Sonona's Dining Reviews
Oh, do I love Guinness! Five Paws Up!
This page has my take on the food that The Local Couple feeds me. It also has a flattering photo of me enjoying a taste of the dark stuff. Shh! Don't tell my veterinarian.
Well, the Avoderm Chicken Formula gets three paws up, too. It turns out that the amount of avocado is small enough that I can choke it down in a pinch. Yeah, I'll eat that again, but I still don't like the idea of having avocados in my food. Unless, of course, I find an avocado eating mouse....
What's this? Local Couple, you buy me food with an avocado on the label. What do you think I am? A vegetarian, like you two? Ugh. I don't eat avocados, but, wait, there's a scent of ocean fish too. OK, I'll eat it this time, and give Avoderm Ocean Fish Formula three paws up.
The idea of this seemed good. In the wild, I'd probably go after a duck. Especially if it were small, and it's mother wasn't around. Somehow, the idea didn't match up with reality. Perhaps they used old stringy nasty tasting ducks. Anyway, the Instinct Duck Formula gets just two paws up. Local couple, look for the duckling formula next time.
Another 5 pawer, this time for Wellness Chicken and Herring. I'm really glad that the Local couple has started buying my food at the OK feed store. I'm pretty finicky, and it seems like the stuff they sell at OK is more likely to be edible.
Meooow! This stuff is good! If you ask me, tuna is the best, and Pinnacle Chicken and Tuna seems to have a lot of tuna. When the local couple feeds me this, I purr and purr.
Well, well well. The Local Couple has started letting me write reviews again. It's probably because they've finally started offering up something that could be called food. Like this Wellness Turkey Formula. This stuff is pretty good, with lots of meat. I'd really give it 3 and a half paws up.
Wellness Chicken Formula also gets three paws up. Note that the two Welllness brands are Grain Free as cat food should be. It's rare that you hear of cats attacking corn or wheat stalks. They're not challenging prey.
Holistic Select Ocean Fish and Tuna Formula gets four paws up. It does have tuna in it, right? That makes it good in my book. It does have a funny name though, Holistic Select, sounds like the Local Couple will start practicing Yoga soon (not this cat, though).
Pinnacle Ocean Fish Formula gets four paws up, although I've noticed that that a number of these new brands the Local Couple has been getting are a 'Formula.' What am I, some sort of chemistry experiment? I think not. I just ignore the name and eat it anyway.
Pinnacle Chicken and Ocean Fish Formula only gets one paws up. Even I know that you shouldn't mix chicken and fish. Fish are in the water, and chicken belong in coops. The first time I had some, it was good, but I've decided that I don't like it anymore. If you're looking for some, tell your people to head off to the local feed store -- The Local Couple shops the OK Feed and Supply.
Friskies Carved with Beef in Gravy gets three paws up, despite its name. Since when has "carved" become a noun. I'm just a cat and even I know you talk about carved "something," not "carved with." Still, it does get three paws up. I like that "with," carved or otherwise.
Fancy Feast Chopped Grill Feast gets two paws up. While nowhere near as good as the stuff Trader Joe puts together, this will keep me in calories for the night. A bite here, a bite there, and by morning half is still left to be tossed.
Fancy Feast Turkey Feast in Savory Juices get zero, count 'em zero paws up. I don't know what kind of "juices" this was in, but I could guess. This stuff sat until morning, and the out it went.
Fancy Feast Seafood Feast gets three paws up. Some seafood feast! I didn't find a morsel of lobster anywhere in here. Maybe next time.
Trader Joe's Tongol Tuna and Crab gets five paws up. Trader Joe's Tuna Rocks! I think Tongol must be synonymous with albacore tuna. This, and the next flavor, are about the best that I've had. With the exception of people tuna, of course.
Trader Joe's Tongol Tuna & Shrimp gets five paws up. Just call me Tongol Tuna girl! This stuff is the best thing since bite-sized apricots. Local Couple, please get me more!
Trader Joe's Seafood Medley gets zero paws up. Normally Trader Joe makes some pretty good chow, but not this time. This stuff was just like Fancy Feast Sardines, Shrimp & Crab Feast in Aspic (below). In other words, sardines in gelatin. A kitty has to draw the line somewhere; with me it's fish floating in Jello.
Fancy Feast Beef Feast in Savory Juices gets zero paws up. This stuff was Bad. Bad with a capital 'B.' Normally, I at least like the gravy that's in these cans, but these so called 'Savory Juices' were just nasty. It was a long night's wait to the morning kibble, but I'd rather wait for something edible.
Fancy Feast Tuna & Mackerel Feast gets four paws up. The more I have tuna, the more I like it . If the Local Couple would let me out, I think that I could catch tuna on my own. That is, if they were much smaller and didn't live in the water.
Authority Catfish gets zero paws up. As far as I'm concerned you can skip the step where you open the can. Just throw it into the trash unopened, it'll save time and trouble. Fortunately, the Local Couple had pity on me and fed me kibble instead.
Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Feast gets four paws up. This stuff is almost as good as the tuna I sometimes get; I licked the bowl clean by 9pm. One way this could be a bit better is if it had a few pieces of fish in it. Right now, it's like a fish paté. Sometimes food is best when it has that nice meaty bite or two.
Friskies Fine Cuts With Chicken gets one paw up. The gravy is good, but that's it. I left all the chunks in the bowl 'til morning when they had to be thrown away. What can Friskies do to ruin chicken? Who knows, but they've succeeded.
Iams Beef Formula gets three paws up. It would get more but it's a meat paste. What happened, did a cow fall into a giant blender? I think not. So put some chunks of real meat in there, for cat's sake.
Fancy Feast Tuna Feast gets three paws up. This isn't as good as people tuna (always a five pawer), but it'll do in a pinch. Note that this is the second Fancy Feast that has the Ralston Purina checkerboard, and that they seem to taste better, too. I hope that this trend continues. (Of course, they still have Zombie cat on the label).
Fancy Feast Chicken & Tuna Feast gets two paws up. This is okay, but nothing to write home about. I guess one could survive on this, if they had to; I wouldn't recommend it.
Friskies Fine Cuts with Ocean Whitefish and Tuna gets two paws up. What's with this "Fine Cuts with Ocean Whitefish?" Fine cuts of what, pray tell? Wait, I'll tell you: fine cuts of stuff that isn't as appetizing as either whitefish or tuna. Get with the program Friskies and give us fine cuts of something you would advertise on the front of the package.
Iams Salmon Formula gets zero paws up. Maybe less. This stuff made me barf. Literally. (1/2 of The Local Couple attests that Sonora is not exaggerating). All of this should go to the trolls under the sink.
Friskies Fine Cuts with Beef and Gravy gets three paws up. Regular readers know that beef is a cats natural food and that it's one of my favorites, and these are ok, but not the best. It has a nice gravy, and the chunks are nice and meaty. It'll be gone by morning.
Fancy Feast Cod, Sole, & Shrimp Feast get four paws up. Maybe the small checkerboard on the label reminds me of an Italian restaurant. Or, maybe Ralston Purina hires better kitty chefs. Whatever it may be, this is better than most Fancy Feast flavors. Keep serving me ones like this! Purr, purr.
Fancy Feast Beef & Giblets Feast gets one paw up. Not to be confused with the Beef Feast below (which is good), this stuff is kind of gross. One small bite and I moved off to my cat perch to look up the window. Please let tomorrow be something good.
Fancy Feast Fish & Shrimp Feast gets one paw up. Gracie, my cousin, recommended (four paws) Fancy Feast Ocean Fish & Shrimp Feast. But did I get that? Noooo. Apparently the plant eating Local Couple think all fish is the same. Well, it's not. Tomorrow, let's try Gracie's other recommendation: Kraft Mild Cheddar cubes.
The Local Couple got this again, but I ate it this time. We can move the rating up to two paws.
Trader Joe's Beef Liver & Rice gets zero paws up. Here's a hint Trader Joe, trade this for something else. Your other cat food is good, but like last night with the Authority Chicken, I wouldn't feed this to a rat. It would make him taste bad.
Authority Chicken Formula gets zero paws up. How can you ruin chicken? You just kill it and eat it, right? Well, I don't know what the folks at Authority did, but this was awful. It looked as though I'd go hungry the night I was served this, but the Local Couple felt bad and served up some crunchy kibble to keep me going. Sometimes they're pretty good to have around.
Trader Joe's Turkey & Giblets gets four paws up. Easily. Trader Joe knows how to make cat food; this stuff was gone in under an hour, and is good as anything I could hunt down myself.
Fancy Feast Salmon & Chicken Feast gets two paws up. Salmon & Chicken Feast. What's that? A poor relative of Surf & Turf? It seemed to have chunks of mystery meat floating in gravy. The gravy wasn't bad, but it took me all night to eat those chunks.
Fancy Feast Chicken Hearts & Liver Feast gets two paws up. Wow, you gotta love those internal organs! Full of vitamins and minerals, and tasty to boot. What more could you ask for? (I happen to know that the male half of the Local Couple was rather fond of chicken hearts before he gave up animal parts. That's something I'll never do.)
The second time I had this, it wasn't as good, so I downgraded it to two paws up (from three). Perhaps Fancy Feast changed the recipe.
Fancy Feast Trout Feast gets four, count 'em four paws up. This stuff is great, flaky tasty trout. And NO Jello (read about the failed seafood gunk in Jello below). Trout is so good I'd be headed out to catch some if I didn't like getting wet, know how to catch trout, lived near some trout streams, and was allowed to go out by myself.
Authority Lamb & Rice gets three paws up. This brand is pretty good; if they serve it to me, I generally polish it off before the Local Couple goes to bed. I've never had to hide any of this variety under the edge of my food bowl tray to avoid eating it.
We have had to lower this rating to one paw up (at best). The last can of this turned me into a barfarific. I ate dry kibble instead.
Trader Joe's Chopped Grill gets three paws up. While it's not quite as good as the moths or insects I catch, it does have that tasty meaty formula. I'll definitely eat this again.
Nutro Gourmet Classic Savory Hunter's Stew with Venison gets zero paws up. This stuff was foul, and not the tasty fowl, either. I just don't know what the Local Couple were thinking when they got this. I refused to even take a bite. In fact, I refused to take a bite of any of the Nutro Gourmet Classics they bought. If they think this is good, they can eat it themselves.
Chicken of the Sea Chunk Light Tuna gets five paws up. The Local Couple say they bought this when it was on sale and cheaper than cat food. I think that it was the only time they've ever showed any sense. I could eat this every day; it's the best.
Authority Ocean Whitefish & Rice gets three paws up. While it's not as good as tuna, I'll eat it. If I don't, The Local Couple may get some of that Nutro gunk again, or they may bring me back to the vet. So, I'll eat it.
Fancy Feast Turkey Feast In Gravy gets one paw up. The gravy was tasty, but those chunks of turkey weren't too good. I left most of them in my bowl, and they had to be thrown away. I'd rather have something else.
Whiskas gets zero paws up. This is so bad that we don't even have a package to scan. I made The Local Couple throw it all away, package and all. If they try to feed me this again, they might find a hairball in their shoes.
Eukanuba Lamb & Rice Formula gets four paws up. I prefer crunchy food over the moist; I pretend that I'm crunching through mouse bones. This is good enough that I have it most mornings for breakfast.
Greenies gets three paws up. It would get more, but they've put that ugly, evil creature on the label. My veterinarian recommended these to keep my teeth clean; I think they help keep 'em sharp, too. After all, you never know when you might have to bite someone. It also helps with that 'tuna breath.' One of the Local Couple microwaves a greenie for 15 seconds so it's soft, then slices it into bite-sized bits. Yum.
Whisker Licken's gets three paws up. Despite the dumb name, I like these as a little treat. The Local Couple gives me one or two when I'm good. Unfortunately, I don't get them often. Hmm. Maybe I should try being good. Nah. Whisker Licken's ain't tuna.
Fancy Feast Beef Feast gets four paws up. I think that beef is a cat's natural food, and this has it all: Shredded beef in a light gravy. It makes for good eatin'. I'm sure to finish this one up by morning.
Fancy Feast Sardines, Shrimp & Crab Feast in Aspic gets one paw up, and just barely. Almost anything is better than the so called Sardines, Shrimp & Crab Feast in Aspic. Even the cat on the label looks like it is going to barf. And hey, Local Couple, Aspic is Jello. Cats don't eat Jello. What were you thinking? That cats in the wild stalk Jello? Anyway, I ate one bite and waited for my morning kibble.
Hill's Science Diet Ocean Fish & Rice Recipe gets four paws up. This is a dry crunchy food, and I just love it. I get one-third cup for breakfast at 5 am; often I try to wake one of the Local Couple even earlier.
Trader Joe's Imported Apricots (Dried) get five paws up. These are my favorite treat, really. I even stoop to hopping around on my hind legs to get these babies. Besides eating them for the taste, it has the added benefit of messing with my humans' minds.
Copyright © 2003, S.